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Car accidents, Courage and Choices... 

Asha Frost - Wednesday, June 30, 2010

2 weeks ago I was in a car accident. The woman behind me said she hit the gas instead of the brake. Yup. That's what it felt like. Head hit steering wheel, knees hit dashboard, seatbelt cut across chest, ouch!

 

My first step, after dealing with the police and insurance mess was to take some remedies. Homeopathy helped me with the acute shock and pain and got me back in my body, thank goodness. Aconite, Arnica and Hypericum helped me to clear the shock, bruising and nerve pain I was experiencing.

 

Second step was to look at the lessons in all of this. It was nothing new. Balance. Take some time for you. Rest. Okay. Got it.

 

After the accident, some symptoms I have been experiencing have worsened. You see, I have been working on healing this dis "ease" named Lupus. It has been 15 years since the diagnosis. 12 since I started on this conscious healing journey. I still experience symptoms. Healing is truly a journey and a process.

 

Today I decide to go to the doctor. Doctor visits are very rare in my life and only happen when I am deep in my pain. I know the drill. And today was no different. I'm not even sure why I went. I showed the doctor my joints and he takes out his prescription pad. I am not surprised really. Why am I here again?

 

He asks me when the last time I saw my Rheumatologist was and I tell him it's been 2 years. I get a disapproving look and he says to me "Do you want medicine that keeps you sick or medicine that will work for you?" He knows I am a homeopath. This triggered me. Ah. My lesson. Here it was.

 

I told him that I was handling everything fine and just wanted an assessment for the accident and if everything looked okay from that perspective I would be on my way. He wished me luck and I was on my way.

 

Holding back tears on the way out, I felt defeated. This is unusual for me, so I knew there was something much deeper going on. And here, through my tears was the big lesson. Today was the day that I finally acknowledged how difficult it is to walk in my full truth.

 

To treat this dis "ease" naturally, to stand up to all of the countless physicians over the years and tell them, no thank you, I will not be taking the steroids/anti-malarial/anti-inflammatory drugs you are prescribing. I am too sensitive for this. This may be the way for others, but it is not my way, it is not my path.

 

It has taken a lot of courage. It is my choice. It is my body.

 

Today, I realized how difficult this has been. For a split second, I imagined what it would have been like to have chosen the other path. To be completely free of joint pain, to have clear skin free of lupus marks, to have more energy, to have more hair, less pain everywhere. I just want to be "normal" and I realize that part of my journey is to fully acknowlege how crappy this has been at times. Good bye eternal optomist, hello pity party. For these moments I sat in this awareness of the choices we make and why.

 

I know that the Creator has guided me on this path. That the ancestors bless every single step. My road is golden. I am so blessed. This illness has brought me so many lessons, so many teachings. I would not be doing what I am doing without experiencing what I have.

 

My dearest clients. I understand when you say that you don't feel beautiful. I understand when you say you are afraid of death. I know what it's like to live with a chronic disease. I know worry, I know fear, I know sadness and grief and anger.

 

I also know healing, grace, unconditional love, light and all of the gifts that come from courageously stepping up to heal your life. That dark pain is a gift. I've seen it, I've felt it. I know it.

 

I honour every single person who walks through my door and takes responsibility for their health. I witness courage every single day. Beautiful spirits who speak their truth, honour the whispers of their soul, walk their talk. I am constantly inspired. It takes courage to step out of the realm of the "ordinary". To truly listen to your heart. To honour your spirit.

 

Today I am finally seeing how courageous I have been in walking this path. Just as I honour my clients, I will honour myself today and I will continue to listen to that voice inside that tells me to trust that I am healing. I am almost there....

 

I trust.

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