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Healer Burnout 101 

Asha Frost - Wednesday, October 28, 2015

 

When The Body Says No

I love facilitating healing for people, for groups and for the earth. Every single time I engage with a patient or a group or have the opportunity to help, my soul lights on fire. I know that I was born to share what my spirit guides me to share and that this time around upon this earth, I chose healer.

For the past couple of years, I started noticing a pattern, I would get super busy with events, circles, healings and other appointments and then my flame would slowly burn out. I would engage in tons of self care and then be back at it. Yet, the cycle of busy/burnout never stopped. It was challenging for me because I adore my work, it fills my soul and expands my heart, yet, deep down inside, I knew that something had to change.

In the last few weeks, my huge change came about. I woke up in terrible pain in my joints and I could not swallow or eat. This lasted for days and it was incredibly painful. I asked my body what this was about, and I heard:

Self-sacrifice. Not speaking. Putting others needs above your own.

These themes are ones that I have been working through for my entire lifetime but something about how my body manifested it this time was different. Maybe I was just ready to hear the call. Maybe my spirit felt that I was ready to finally hear this. The pain was glaring enough that I knew something needed to be done. And so I did. I took action, a simple action, but one that set some new boundaries around my time and energy. 

That same week, in my Deer Medicine Healing Circle class the "NO" card showed up for me.  My partner said: "I think that this means that you are saying yes to too many requests and need to refine your decisions."  Ha!  She nailed it right on the mark.  I remember reading the phrase: "No is a complete sentence" and loving it, however never using it.  Saying “No”, has been a really challenging response for me.  

Not anymore. My body was ready to heal this and with some loving truth and action, I am well again. I can eat, I can swallow. I can play the piano, I can write and walk. Listening to my spirit calling and finally following through healed my body. It seems so easy now looking back, but it took me years to finally get it.

I have been surrounded by healers in my life that give up their practice because of burning out.  I get it.  As healers, it is in our nature to give and give and give.   However, if we want to continue our practice and facilitate more healing in our lives we need to set healthy boundaries and honor ourselves. Here are the Top 5 things I have learned and recently rooted into my being after 11 years of practice.

1. With every request for being of service, take a day or two to ask your higher self if this is in full alignment with the work your soul wants to be doing. Trust your gut.  It never lies.  Your body always knows.  

Donating your gifts and time and being of service to your community is a beautiful thing, however there is only one of you and you can only say yes to so many requests. Make sure it fills up your soul in every way and that if it is taking precious time away from what fills your cup, make sure it is worth it. 

2. It is your responsibility to say no and to set appropriate boundaries around what you offer. People who ask for free advice and guidance are true gifts for you to step up and ask for what you truly deserve.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” Brene Brown

We cannot blame anyone else for asking if we have not set the appropriate boundary ourselves. It is truly our responsibility to speak what we need and put something into place that feels like an equal exchange. I realized that I was getting between 10 and 20 requests per day around intuitive guidance, remedy requests, and other questions. I was spending hours of my time getting back to them instead of spending time with my son, eating lunch or practicing self care. I am sure that each person thought they were the only one asking, therefore it was up to me to ask for an energetic exchange for my time.

3. An equal exchange benefits all involved.

 Time and time again, whenever I have given a discount or sometimes even a trade, the results are different. An investment energetically changes this. Every. Single. Time.

4. If you are experiencing burnout, something needs to change.

Watch where your energy may be leaking out. Fill your cup first. Speak your truth with kindness and compassion. It is safe to say no.

5. Know that you are worthy.

You are fully and completely worthy of divine compensation, energetic exchange and abundance in all ways. You do not have to sacrifice any part of yourself to receive this. Start with yourself.  Offer yourself compassion.  Love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

And a bonus point...always offer gratitude!!!

I am so grateful to all of the people who have taught me along the way to value myself. I am so grateful to my beautiful body for its brilliant signals and signs through pain. And ultimately, I am grateful to my spirit for choosing this path as a healer. Every single day, I grow through my challenges and blessings. It is a path that is ever evolving and one that I would never change.  I am constantly awed by the courage of the human spirit and the ability of our bodies and souls to heal.

I now commit to having a fully lit dancing flame, fueled by fully connecting to my worthiness and cultivated by truth and deep love for myself and the world around me. And so it is. A. xo

 

Pictures courtesy of www.jenshortphotography.com  

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