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Rooted. Grounded. 

Asha Frost - Friday, February 22, 2013

When I was in my early 20's I experienced intense physical pain.  The type of pain that makes you want to scream and cry.  The type of pain that you cannot escape and want to suppress. 

 

It was that kind of pain. And of course, I wanted it to go away.

 

So, I learned that it was easier to leave my body. This would happen with ease.  In my dream time I would fly.  Fly to different landscapes with hills and valleys.  I would even have a protocol in my dreams as I would take off.  I would jump up into the air and align myself parallel to the earth and then soar into the bright sky.  It was awesome.

 

Awesome.

 

Until I had to come back.

 

And then the pain would come back.

 

And then in my first year of homeopathy school I met this woman.  She was a magnificent healer.  She told me that in order to heal my pain I would have to feel it.  To stop suppressing it.  To just sit with it.  Feel it with all my being.  Allow it to come. 

 

And that scared the hell out of me.

 

But I did.  And the pain healed.

 

As the years went by, I went through many episodes of different pain.  My body went through awful, awful things.  And I had forgotten.  I had forgotten to just surrender to the pain.  After all, it was much easier to just leave my body.  I had a very difficult time grounding myself. 

 

I saw many healers.  I did may healings.  And the message was the same.  Ground yourself.  Root yourself to the earth.  You are safe here.  Everything is going to be okay.

 

But it didn't feel okay.  It did not feel okay to experience all of this physical pain.  Why did I choose this?  Why me? 

 

Throughout this journey I have learned to see the pain as a blessing.  The teachings have been about Darkness and Light.  Chaos and Peace.  Struggle and Grace.

 

And I have truly struggled with being here.  On this earth. 

 

Which may sounds crazy, but it's true.  This earth is dense, it can be heavy for a sensitive one.

 

The pain has often been too much.  It has challenged me to the depths of my soul.  It has pushed me to the edge of my existence.

 

And then...

 

Kai was born.  And in his most gracious, brilliant way, he sprinkled the deepest magic into my life and grounded me here.  Fully and completely.  Permanently.  I am here now.  I surrender to any pain that my body feels.  I choose to be here.  For my son.  For myself.  To experience life to the fullest.  In my body.

 

Forever.

 

And ever.

 

And ever.

 

For it is a lifetime of laughs that I want to hear in my ears.  A lifetime of smiles that I want to see with my eyes.  A lifetime of love that I want to feel with every heartbeat. I want to experience every breath, every step, every accomplishment. 

 

 

I love my body.  I love being in my body.  I am grounded in body.  And I am not going anywhere but down.  Deep down into my self, into the earth, into the darkness, so I can come into the light.  The light of my deepest love...

 

A. xo

        

 

 

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