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Sacred Creation Stories 

Asha Frost - Tuesday, November 20, 2012

From the time that I had thought about having children, I had envisioned myself having a home birth.  Midwives surrounding me as I birthed in the tub, my doula giving me homeopathic remedies and the sounds of my Buffalo Drum, reminding my babe of their sacred connection to the heartbeat of the earth.  The heartbeat that connects us all.

 

It all sounded so sacred.  So divine.  And I have met many women whose birth stories sound similar to this. I would read blogs and books about natural birth and how these women felt so deeply connected to their babes and how the experience was incredibly spiritual.  I *so* wanted this and was in awe of the women who shared their natural birthing stories. 

 

This was what I was going to do too.

 

Or so I thought.

 

When I got pregnant, I found out that a home birth wasn't meant to be and neither were midwives as my pregnancy was considered high risk.

 

Once I came to terms with this, I did everything I could to try and create what I felt was a sacred birth experience, in the hospital and of course, put a wee bit of pressure on myself to create this.  After all, I wanted spiritual, I wanted sacred, I wanted deep connection.  And in my mind, this looked a certain way.

 

The universe, however, had other plans.  Of course it did, because it loves to check in a couple times per year to see if I have learned how to surrender.  Just to let you know universe.  I am still working on it and probably will for the rest of this lifetime.  It's a tough one for me!

 

My intentions to birth in soft light with essential oils and beautiful music was brought to a screeching halt when I was told that I had to go to the OR.  Bright, fluorescent lights were not my ideal situation.  In fact, I despise bright lights!  Ask anyone who has seen me run far far away from Big Box Stores.  So as they wheeled me in there, my first thought was not about my impending birth,  rather it was about the buzz and brightness of those crazy lights!!!

 

My doula and nurse were my saving grace as they both held sacred space for me as I pushed and pushed and pushed.  And after what seemed like hours, my beautiful Kai was born.

 

When they took him away to be monitored, I was devastated.  He was supposed to be on my breast latching already, I was supposed to be rubbing the vernix into his skin and whispering how much I loved him.  It wasn't supposed to be this way!  He was gone.

 

He was gone...

 

And all I could do was cry.

 

Cry for the plans that did not go the way that I had envisioned, cry for my baby who was taken away from me, cry for my body that could not walk or move.

 

I did a lot of crying.

 

And the universe asked me: "Have you surrendered yet?"

 

And I cried some more.

 

And I realized that nobody would ever consciously choose their birth experience to be difficult. That I had to be gentle with myself and accept that there were many factors at play.  That there are soul lessons, life lessons, and that this sacred birth experience gives you the deepest opportunity to heal what needs to be healed in your life.

 

In the end, my birth was indeed a deeply spiritual, incredibly sacred experience.  It pushed me to the depths of vulnerability and grace.  Darkness and light.  Pain and healing.  And it was a gift.

 

I didn't need the home birth with drumming to achieve this, for Mother Earth was right there, holding me and my brand new divine child in her arms.  Rocking us gently, with the message of the ancestors sourcing through her heart.

 

"Fall into my arms and let go beautiful divine mother.  Shed the tears of your soul, until the water reflects the light of the rainbows.  You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved."

And seven months later, I can see that all of those tears that were shed held a very precious vibration.  They carried a new wisdom.  The wisdom of a mother who held a beautiful sacred story in her heart.  And there was also a deep knowing that for many moons before her, there were many other mothers who held this very same wisdom.

 

And now, it is time to share.

 

A. xo

 

I am facilitating a new type of healing circle called Sacred Creation Stories for all mamas to share and engage in the healing of their birth stories.  These circles will involve ceremony, love and light and all stories will be held with the deepest respect and reverence.  Contact me at asha@my-homeopath.com for details and dates.

*Above artwork by Maxine Noel*

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