Asha Frost - Monday, September 20, 2010

As I sit here to write this, I welcome the Grandmother energy - Aanii Nokomis, Meegwetch - I am grateful. As I welcome them in, tears stream down my face as I am certain that my ancestors are present, witnessing each baby step that I make towards my becoming.

My becoming. 10 years ago, at the beginning of this conscious spiritual path, a healer asked me "What's the rush, dearest one?" Wise question. The "rush" is the wound and sadly, this wounded part of myself has been operating ever since. Upon deeper investigation, this wound was attached to a contract:

"If I stop, I will die".

When I go within to witness this wound, I see a cheerleader who looks like she's had one too many Redbulls. There is an innate belief system operating that I must do it all, hold it all together - even when my body is literally screaming out in pain and telling me to stop.

Wise body.

My cells, tissues, organs and joints are brilliantly wise. They know exactly what they need. They began whispering in April and have progressed to using their outdoor voice. In the past they would give me a break so I could regenerate and rejeuvenate.

No more. Their message is loud and clear. Stop!

And 6 months later (guilty shrug), I am listening.

I am taking time off. I am taking time off. OMG. I am taking time off. One whole month. I know this may not seem like a big deal for most, as it would make sense that time for healing and resting is imperative. But for the woman who pushes herself to keep going, this decision has definitely been a work in progress.

Finally! Says my body, echoing the sentiments of my friends and family. Yet, with that wound always operating in the background, it was impossible for me to make this decision. At least... it felt impossible.

Years ago, when I first read Heal Your Body by Louise Hay, I resonated with the mental "cause" of Lupus:

"Rather die than stand up for themselves."

At the time, this was about opening my throat chakra and speaking my truth and honouring my boundaries. As healing evolves, so does the resonance with this statement. Standing up for myself is now about taking this time to rest and heal.

October 2010 will be the 6 year anniversary of my business. Rest and healing will be a wonderful way to celebrate.

My body has held this wisdom all along. I am sorry beautiful body for not listening sooner. I am grateful, beautiful body for all of your messages. I promise to honour you with unconditional love and nurture from this day forward.

I envision an October filled with fresh juices and soups. With walks in the sacred forest, breathing in the fresh, crisp air. Time for deep meditation and healing. Time to work on my meditation CD. Time to organize and clear out clutter. Time for me. Time for love, peace and sacredness.

And the grandmothers gather. "We honour you grandaughter, as you honour your body. We pave the way for this transition to unfold with ease and light."

And my scared little voice and heart, who is creating a new way of being, answers: I hope so Nokomis. I hope so.

A. xo


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